RUTH WAS RIGHT

Why Mature Women need to take more of the Initiative towards Marriage 

On the few occasions that I have hinted at this, I have received the wide-eyed exclamation, “What, me a woman to propose marriage to a man?!” Yet how many men would one see at prayer camps praying to get a wife? When men are ready to marry, they literally walk out and bring a wife home! Is it thus not unfair that women do not (not cannot) exercise similar (not the same) initiative? Well, any unfairness in the matter cannot excuse the women from the blame of failing to take the right initiative. This is because women can exercise such initiative in their own fashion, as the remarkable story of Ruth in the Bible illustrates. You may read Ruth chapter four for the full details, but here I have enough space for just some provocative thoughts on why such initiative is needed:

1. It is not forbidden by the Bible, but it requires a lot of wisdom. This is one reason why a mature woman is better placed than a novice to carry it out.

2. For women, marriage initiative in earlier years (say before age 28) is more in the hands of their custodians (parents or guardians). Wise younger women who refer marriage proposals to custodians are likely to be better guided to make good choices earlier in life. When a young woman does not have a good enough rapport with her custodians in this regard, she could makes bad choices, including failing to spot marriage moments until she is older. 

3. Marriage proposals peak between the ages of 18 and 28 and decline sharply thereafter when the woman is now more mature in many ways. The key reason for the decline is that men generally propose on trial and error basis, a ‘game’ they know they cannot try on mature women. Also some women fail to see this age-long turn of the tide and fail to respond in time.

4. Unmarried mature men are attracted to mature women, and will go in for less mature women only if they fail to get any for themselves. The reasons for this include the fact that they remind men of mothers, usually the epitome of care, comfort and trustworthiness. Mature women are also more likely to be economically stable and less whimsical. These and more are good assets going for mature women. 

5. The global culture has virtually abdicated the responsibility of marriage match-making which used to bridge the gap between men and women so long as the mate-seeking enterprise was involved. The mature woman who waits for the men or the system to take always take care of such an important need may face some disappointment. 

6. A mature woman is in a great position to take the marriage initiative, because with experience she is expected to be a better judge of character than when she was younger. She can therefore sort between ruffians and the real deal more easily. Moreover, she is less likely to be confused by the pursuit of juveniles trying their virility. With some good investigation, she can easily spot a good single man that is likely to be suitable husband. The rest is strategy.

7. With maturity a woman is better placed to exercise discretion that is critical in placing herself in a place that removes the inhibitions for a proposal (that remains men’s only prerogative) from a mature man. Be sure to study the Naomi-Ruth strategy and draw up your own strategy. 

#No2Ways #RuthDiscourse