FRUITFUL MARRIAGE – MOVING BEYOND SURVIVAL

Don't Look for a Draw when You Can Win

By Ps. Seth Asare Ofei Badu

(First Preached at Calvary Baptist Church, Circle, in November 2011, at Adjrago's Wedding)

The institution of marriage is from creation and its expected blessing is fruitfulness, which is the first God commanded, and for two, as follows:

Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Gen. 1:28)

Fruitfulness goes beyond the fruit of the womb, and includes all kinds of wellbeing that in turn bless others. In Ephesians 5: 22 - 33 and elsewhere, the Bible throws light on the roles by which we ought to interact to make our marriages fruitful. But first let us look at what hold up a survival level marriages, then we learn how we can do better than just survive. The attack on marriage is also briefly exposed.

Survival Level Marriage

A marriage may be surviving without hope of being fruitful, and one or both of the couple may be enduring it on the basis of any or all of the following:

1. Each is free to worship as he or she pleases
2. Food and keep is adequately provided
3. Sanctity of sexual relations is preserved
4. Personal vocations can be freely practiced
5. Corrupting company is kept at bay

It will be difficult to find any marriage still enduring when all the above have broken down. They have taboo status and are on record to have caused men and women to take drastic actions with huge consequences without thinking twice. Some constitute the basis on which even divorce is permitted in the Bible. Here are examples and instances:

• A spouse might choose between his or her spouse and God, if pushed to.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him… But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1 Cor. 7:13, 15

• Hunger caused Esau to foolishly trade his whole inheritance, fearing he might be dead even before his time to inherit came. (See Gen. 25: 29 – 34)

• Jesus said that sexual impropriety constitutes the only valid basis for divorce,

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Mat. 19:9)

• That Paul chose his vocation to serve God over the natural desire to marry is an indication of how attached people can be to their vocations, over and above their marriages. (See 1 Cor. 1:, 7, cf. Mat. 19: 12)

• The powerful influence of corrupt company was at the core of Israel’ grumbling in the desert, yet they hardly noticed it:

And the mixt multitude that was among them fell a lusting: and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat? (Num. 11:4)

Fruitful Level Marriage

The move towards fruitfulness involves living up to direct Biblical injunctions about marriage and the home, some as old as the institution of marriage itself. Five are readily seen, three roles for the husband and two for the wife:

The husband must

1. Love his wife, care for her and cherish her (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29; 1Pet. 3:7)
2. Raise his wife, helping her to live in accordance with the Word of God (See Eph. 5: 26,27)
3. Rule his household well (Eph. 6:4, 1Tim. 3:4,5)

The wife must

1. Submit to the ruling of her husband in everything (See Eph. 5:22 – 24, 33; 1 Pet. 3: 1-6, cf. Gen. 3:16).

2. Govern the home, attending to detail in day to day matters (See Pro. 31: 10-31).

Some Antichrist Teachings that make Marriages Barren

It is not strange that the institution of marriage, which if pursued soundly, carries one of the most desirable and primal blessings of God has come under constant attack by Satan. some of the deceptions are as old as Genesis, and just take on new clothes and new recruits in every age.

1. Equality and Reversal of Roles: Where Bible exhorts to specified roles for men and women in all things, humanist and Satanic teachings advocate either unreasonable segregation of roles or a confusion of the roles that sometimes seek to legitimize submission of the husband to the wife.
2. Diverse and Permissive Sexuality: Homosexuality, bisexuality, and liberalization of extra-marital sexual activity all aim to devalue the institution of marriage. The Bible frowns on all such sexual impropriety, equating them with the most heinous crimes known to man, such as murder. (See Rom. 26: 27-32)
3. Rejection of Marital Counsel: Some in overreaction to the impropriety of taking marital issues to whosoever will listen, advocate that couples must never discuss their marital challenges with others, but must endure everything in silence. Some marriages thus corrode in silence, until there is nothing to be saved when their distress come into the open. The Bible supports seeking Divine and Godly counsel. You must pray, and as well seek the counsel of well-meaning and well-guided others. (See Pro. 11: 14; 15:22)
4. Rejection of Parental Discipline: In an obvious overreaction to abuses of a father’s role in correcting and shaping his children, sometimes with the cane, some have even legislated against all forms of parental discipline. The cane has been completely outlawed in some jurisdictions. This is also a nefarious attack on marriage, since it emasculates the father in his marital role of ruling his household well. (See Pro. 23:13, 14; Eph. 6:4)

Conclusion

God hates divorce because He ordained it for Fruitfulness, not Survival. It is a disservice to the God's intentions concerning marriage that we just hang in at the survival level for reasons of self-respect and loyalty alone. We must make every good effort to move towards fruitfulness. Fruitfulness brings honor to God. In making the effort to play our roles, we must always guard against and be ahead of the ever-present Antichrist teachings that seek to devalue marriage.